your thong is hanging out like whoa
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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