chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
