margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
