Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
