ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
