in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
babies were throwing up all over the place
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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