I'm passing your future prison.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
