No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
