If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
