Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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