That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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