dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
