Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
