Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
