Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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