I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
