He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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