It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
