Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
