new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
