just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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