My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
