I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
