I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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