Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
