i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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