pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
