Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
