you mean i was at the winter classic?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
