if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
