your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
