I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
