You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
