last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
