I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
