everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
