it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
