mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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