Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he's single and there are thong briefs.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
