At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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