when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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