My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
