Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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