Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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