I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
