erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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