do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
