He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
