My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
