my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Fuck me I smell like cheese
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
